Galatians 6:3 — For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.

You might have picked up that sometimes I see conflicts in the Christian life. Here’s one I’m exercised with at the moment. How do you balance the need to be honest with yourself against the need to be gracious with others?
Here’s what I mean. Someone pays you a compliment. How do you respond?
Sometimes, when somebody compliments me — and before you mock, yes it does happen — my reaction is to preen a little. The internal comment might be “Yes, it was a good presentation”, or “Yes, it did sound nice”. Conceited, aren’t I?
On a better day, if course, I remember to give credit where credit is due, or at least to deflect the compliments. “Well you know, it’s a God thing”, “Well, I’ve had a lot if practice” … You know the sort of thing.
So it’s easy to see what’s wrong with the first response. We know that giving credit to the creation and not the Creator is silly. In fact it can be downright dangerous. Start believing all the nice things people say about you and you risk deceiving yourself. Go too far down the path and you might even end up becoming your own idol.
How about the second one? That’s O.K. Right? Maybe, maybe not … Is it sincere? Maybe just an awkward way to deflect an embarrassing moment? It’s not easy for us guys, in particular, to take compliments is it?
So here’s the challenge. Somehow we have to learn to take compliments graciously, and sincerely, while not using them to build a false self esteem. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” Encouragement is a spiritual gift, and an obligation. To reject a compliment is to deny the gift.
It is perhaps more difficult for those born in the last forty years to deal with this question. Since the 1970’s there has been a focus on developing self-esteem in children. Unfortunately the chosen strategy has often been one of “over praising” which might make it harder to recognize and deal with the genuine kind words of others.
So how do we walk the line and resolve the tension? I believe it’s important to separate the spirit behind a compliment from the words themselves. A compliment is kindly meant, so accept it graciously, with a smile … And if possible, answer with one of your own. A compliment, though, is just words. It should not change your opinion of yourself. It certainly won’t change God’s!
If you are someone, it is not the praise of others that makes you so. What did Paul say?
But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: that, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 1:30, 31)
You are someone. You are someone because you are someone in Christ ..,