Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

I must preach a sermon to myself today. To say “God knows all about me” is to say he can see through the window — but God wants us to open the door of our hearts and show Him our treasures. I know that, but all too often I find myself internally declaring certain topics “off limits” in my quiet time, and having to make a conscious effort to open the shutters.
Those closed shutters was one of the things that Myra noticed about me, early in our relationship. She has gently, lovingly, been chipping away at my resistance and helping me open the shutters to her.
Opening up to Myra is one thing. Opening up to God, though, that’s something else! So what’s going on with me? I’ve come to understand at least two things, and it seems I need to share them. Perhaps you have some of the same issues …
One thing I know I deal with is that there were some tricky moments in my pre-teen and early teen years. When my parents split up I (and my siblings) spent some time in children’s homes and with foster parents. I suffered some sexual abuse. Then in my senior school I was bullied for a while. So when you’re a kid you go under or you develop coping mechanisms. I buried the bad stuff, and learnt to be a bit of a joker. I buried that bad stuff deep, built some hard shells. They’re not easy to crack. By the grace of God, He gave me my sweet wife to be the gentlest of jackhammers!
The other thing that plagues me is somehow connected to yesterday’s devotion … Girls needs their daddies … And boys need their fathers. I never had a real relationship with my father. He was gone before we really had a chance to know each other. He had some struggles even before then. So when I talk to God somehow, in the back of my mind, I think there’s a little voice saying — “You don’t really know Him. Do you really want to share that?” Well yes, I do, so I have to remind myself. “Open those shutters. There’s nothing God doesn’t know, but He wants you to have the freedom of sharing, to be relieved of the burden of secrecy.”
So how about it? Do you have rooms in your heart with shutters that you find hard to open, even for God? Are you kidding yourself that you know yourself and that’s good enough? Remember Jeremiah’s warning. The heart is desperately wicked — only God can truly know it. Satan will find all sorts of ways to dissuade you, but let God into your heart, so He can show you what’s really inside!