1 Peter 3:8-11 — Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another; love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.
Do you like the TV series, factual and fictional, that focus on forensic investigation? I find them fascinating, though the underlying events are unquestionably unpleasant.
All forensic investigation had it’s roots in Locard’s Exchange Principle — the idea that “every contact leaves a trace”. In 1942, Dr. Edmond Locard articulated it:

Wherever he steps, whatever he touches, whatever he leaves, even unconsciously, will serve as a silent witness against him. Not only his fingerprints or his footprints, but his hair, the fibers from his clothes, the glass he breaks, the tool mark he leaves, the paint he scratches, the blood or semen he deposits or collects. All of these and more, bear mute witness against him. This is evidence that does not forget. It is not confused by the excitement of the moment. It is not absent because human witnesses are. It is factual evidence. Physical evidence cannot be wrong, it cannot perjure itself, it cannot be wholly absent. Only human failure to find it, study and understand it, can diminish its value.

So it is with relationships. Whoever you touch, wherever you touch, you each will leave a mark. That mark can be a scar or a cherished memory.
You won’t find anything in the Bible (I think … Feel free to prove me wrong!) that says “relationships leave traces” — but I do believe you can pile text upon on text to support the notion. We might start with Mark 12:31, “And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.” We could move from there to Matthew 7:12, “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” From there we might jump to Ephesians 4:32, “and be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Have I convinced you? If not, let me assure you that I have skipped over many verses, and I could have reached far back into the Old Testament and heaped evidence on top of evidence.
What does this mean to how we should live? There are at least four consequences:
— First, we must take care of what scars we may inflict, what traces our relationships with others may leave behind.
— Second, we should know that other relationships have scarred anyone we encounter, and give them grace.
— Third, we must be aware that we, too, show signs of the impacts of others on us. That self-awareness may make us more kind.
— Lastly, we should know that we are constantly having new traces left on us, and take care that they do not influence our behavior in ways they should not.
I know that I am setting a standard that I can rarely reach. I mean to do better.