Psalm 41:9 — Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me.
One of the hardest things to understand is why trusted friends turn on us.
Did you ever have one of those experiences where somebody you had counted a friend, shared meals with, shared experienced with, suddenly turned cold … Or worse, one of those moments when you find they have been talking about you, working against you. David knew how you feel.
“Mine own familiar friend”: a friend that I am used to being with day by day — “in whom I trusted”: a friend I relied on, who was a dependable supporter (in the Hebrew, “the friend of my peace”) — “has lifted up his heel against me”: has turned on me and kicked me, like an unruly horse throwing it’s rider and striking with its hooves. More, it was a friend who had eaten at David’s table, or even depended on him for substance.
Absalom, David’s son led a rebellion. Ahithophel, one of David’s trusted counselor’s joined the rebellion. It’s hard to be sure about why he turned against his king, but we might notice that Ahithophel was Bathsheba’s grandfather — and David had seduced Bathsheba and committed adultery with her … and murdered her husband.
So often the treachery of friends has a root cause like that of David’s betrayal by Ahithophel. Something happens. Perhaps we give it less weight than it deserves … and friendships are broken, perhaps never to be repaired, certainly never to be the same again.
Myra and I had a saddening experience some years ago. A group of friends turned on us when they felt we had set more store in the welcoming of a newcomer than in the preservation of the familiar routine. It was particularly sad as we had been meeting for a weekly Bible study … and the community was irreparably broken.
How are we supposed to deal with these situations? How do we deal with the root of bitterness? David knew. He knew “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24). When David was betrayed he turned to that one friend who is guaranteed reliable. The psalm goes on to say:
But thou, O Lord, be merciful unto me, and raise me up, that I may requite them. By this I know that thou favorest me, because mine enemy doth not triumph over me. And as for me, thou upholdest me in mine integrity, and settest me before thy face for ever. (Psalm 41:10-12)
“But Thou” — words of great comfort to me. In ANY circumstance I feel I can pray “Dear Lord, this is happening to me … But Thou … Will make things right.”
When friends turn their backs, maybe is time for us to turn back too … back to God.