What’s On The Inside?

July 29, 2013

1Sam 16:7 — But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.
Myra and I were in Whole Foods on Saturday, drinking our coffee and eating our buns. It’s a regular treat. We do live a wild and crazy life!
Myra suddenly said, “Which of those four people do you think is disabled?”, as a group of fit looking folks strode away from the SUV they had parked in a “Disabled” parking space.
It led to a discussion about unseen disabilities, especially significant to us as we have a grandson with autism caused by a genetic oddity. I was reminded too, of having been told off when I had commented on somebody using a disabled space — on that occasion there had been a hidden heart problem.
From there our morning coffee chat moved on to unseen emotional and spiritual “disabilities”. We know, Myra and I, that it’s not possible for people to look at us and see our history. Each of us has things in our past that have scarred us. I remember never quite fitting in at my High School. It was a great school, and I loved many things about my time there — but there were things in my background and circumstances that meant I was never quite really accepted. You can’t look at me and see that I don’t always find groups easy. You can’t look at Myra and see the time that she had a new kitchen fitted, only for the fitter to steal it while she was at work on the next day — which makes her extra wary of people working in our house. People’s behavior, attitudes and actions are all influenced by their history — but only God knows what’s in their hearts. Those awkward people we have to deal with — the one’s Rick Warren describes as “extra grace required” — we just might not be able to see all the valleys they have come through just to get to today.
Of course, sometimes it’s nothing so dire as history that causes people to do things that get under our skin! That person who cut you up in traffic … What kind of day has he been having? How about the woman sharing her life on the phone? Is she unloading the weight of a miserable working day?
Over that cup of coffee, I made a small promise. Any time somebody aggravates me this week (and somebody probably will, now I’ve said it) I’m going to try and think about what lies behind whatever they do. Of course I won’t get it right … Because only “The Lord looketh on the heart” … But I’m hoping the effort will choke off a bad tempered thought or even an ill-timed comment. Call it a one-week empathy self-improvement program!
Pray for me …